Ask a lawyer on the topic of Family law

During the separation period of the marriage

September 26, 2009 | 25,00 EUR | answered by Steffan Schwerin

Dear Mr. Schwerin,

I hope you can be of great help to me. Just a brief information, I am deaf and have difficulties with my formulation, I hope you can still understand it through my writing.

It is about my friend who recently separated from his wife and he has 2 daughters aged 12 and 10. His marriage has not been going well for 5 years. Initially, we had a secret affair and were lovers for a year and I accepted a lot for him. Since July 12, 2009, we have been together, as he could no longer bear it and his marriage is in deep crisis, because his wife only drinks and struggles to take care of their children effortlessly while he is employed full-time. He has hired a lawyer and also involved the Youth Welfare Office, which means they must remain separated for 1 year according to the law. My main problem is that my friend said we are not allowed to publicize, for example in court and to the lawyer, that he has a new girlfriend and there is a danger because he is fighting for custody of the children. The two children know that he has a new girlfriend and they really like me, but the children remain silent and do not tell anyone. He visits me regularly and sometimes stays overnight with me for a day when the children have plans or are staying with their grandma. We love each other so much and I help him as much as I can.

But one thing I want to know, why are we not allowed to publicize that we are together and why is there a danger, I do not understand??? How long do I have to endure keeping our relationship a secret??? He and I suffer because we have to hide it and we have no freedom, it tortures us. Can you maybe explain to me??? What should I watch out for??? When can we make our relationship public???

Thank you very much for your help in advance.

Best regards

Steffan Schwerin

Dear questioner,

I will answer the questions you have asked taking into account the facts you have described and your input as follows:

I was able to easily understand and take in the situation. So you don't need to worry.

Let me briefly summarize: You are in a relationship with your friend. He is still married and has two children with his wife. Now, the couple is separated and getting a divorce. You are worried that your relationship should not be "exposed."

I cannot understand this concern. The divorce and the issue of custody for the children are not hindered by the man being in a new relationship.

Therefore, you do not need to keep secret the fact that you and your friend are in a relationship. You should discuss this with your friend, and there is no reason not to live the relationship openly.

There is no law or legal precedent stating that one cannot have a new relationship.

You may not want to publicize that the relationship initially started as an affair. But currently, there is no (legal) reason to keep the relationship a secret.

Finally, I must point out that this platform cannot replace a comprehensive and personal legal consultation. The goal here is solely to provide an initial rough assessment of your legal problem based on the information you have provided to a lawyer. The legal advice I provide is based solely on the facts you have provided. Adding or omitting relevant information in your description of the situation could lead to a completely different legal assessment.

I hope I have given you a first overview and that my explanations have been helpful. You are welcome to contact me through the follow-up option on this portal.

Furthermore, I am also available for representation. The initial consultation fee you have paid will be credited in full.

A greater distance between lawyer and client is generally not a problem. With the help of modern communication tools such as email, mail, fax, and telephone, representation is also possible.

Sincerely,

Steffan Schwerin
Lawyer

Law Office of Steffan Schwerin
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Email: steffan.schwerin@hotmail.de

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