Unmarried and child
May 9, 2011 | 50,00 EUR | answered by Jan Wilking
I (German citizen) am married and have 3 children (1st wife + 3 children German citizens). In 2008, I met a woman from Morocco. Since 2010, we have been living in Saudi Arabia. Together we have a child. I have acknowledged paternity and obtained custody from my second wife (not married). The fourth child is a German citizen. Recently, my second wife has been making my life a bit difficult. She runs around and tries to cause trouble everywhere (such as slapping other people or harassing people on the street). She has also been to the Moroccan Embassy. She threatened me and my 9-month-old child with a knife in the house and tried to suffocate the child. She threatens to harass my first wife and to go to the police (Fact: not married in Saudi Arabia). I usually alternate daily between my first and second wife. Now she wants me to divorce if threatened. She is doing her best to cause problems for me. I have to come home from work several times a day because of the problems she causes.
Question: What options do I have to keep the child with me (forever) or at least have the possibility to determine the child's location (Riyadh or in Germany)?
Dear inquirer,
I am happy to answer your inquiry taking into account your description of the situation and your commitment as follows:
According to your description, you are not married to the mother of your child, but you have acknowledged paternity and both parents have declared, in accordance with § 1626a of the German Civil Code, that they want to share parental responsibility. Only in this case do both parents have joint parental responsibility. Otherwise, the mother has sole parental responsibility.
The right to determine the residence of the child according to § 1687 of the German Civil Code is held by the parent who has parental responsibility for the child. In the case of joint parental responsibility, the parents also jointly determine the child's place of residence.
However, you could try to obtain sole parental responsibility. Sole parental responsibility is granted upon request in case of separation, according to § 1671 of the German Civil Code. You can either file an application with the competent family court for the transfer of parental responsibility yourself, or you can hire a lawyer specializing in family law to do so. Based on their experience, the lawyer will be able to provide you with information on the likelihood of success of the proceedings.
The primary consideration of the family court's decision is the best interests of the child. Only if the court believes that sole parental responsibility is absolutely necessary for the child's well-being, will you be granted sole custody. According to case law, joint parental responsibility is not reasonable if one of the parents has been violent. At least due to the violence against the child, the child's well-being may be at risk, so there are reasons to consider depriving the mother of parental responsibility. The court can also withdraw parental responsibility according to § 1666 of the German Civil Code if the child's well-being is at risk.
The court will usually involve the youth welfare office, which will then conduct separate detailed discussions with both parents. Subsequently, the youth welfare office will provide the court with an opinion, which is often the basis for the judge's decision.
Since you can endanger your own parental responsibility for the child by allowing the mother to endanger the well-being of the shared child, you should immediately hire a specialized lawyer to protect your rights and the child.
I hope I have provided you with a helpful first orientation. If you have any uncertainties, please use the free follow-up function.
Please note that I cannot provide a definitive advice in this initial consultation without knowledge of all circumstances. If you wish for a definitive assessment of the situation, I recommend contacting a lawyer and discussing the situation with them after reviewing all documents.
Kind regards.
