Divorce/Children
September 24, 2009 | 50,00 EUR | answered by Steffan Schwerin
Good evening,
The situation is as follows: I have been married since 08/2007, we have a 4-year-old child with shared custody and parental responsibility. My wife is currently in the 9th month of pregnancy. I was granted full parental responsibility in a temporary injunction (before our wedding) because the mother of the child had a breakdown and ran away from home without informing anyone.
In 2007, during a marital crisis with my ex-girlfriend, I had an affair and fathered a child. My wife "forgave" me, but insisted that I have no contact with him. Now, this year, he is attending the same kindergarten as my other son, and it hurts me deeply.
It has recently come to light that my wife has stolen from both my parents and hers multiple times, and has made fraudulent orders in false names. I had done something similar about 10 years ago and faced legal consequences. Despite knowing my history, she is repeating the same mistakes now, even with children involved. She refuses to engage in conversations, saying that I had done the same in the past.
I am most concerned about the safety and well-being of my son and unborn child. I am considering getting a divorce. How does this process work? The temporary injunction is no longer valid as there was no main hearing.
I want to keep things as simple as possible. My wife is from a town about 60 km away, but my son's life is here – friends, kindergarten, grandparents, etc. Her father is unable to care for young children due to health reasons.
I have heard that in the event of a divorce, the children usually go to the mother. However, she cannot stay here as my family lives around us (direct neighbors).
What should I do now? How do I initiate a divorce? What about the children, especially the 4-year-old? How can I proceed best, considering that conversations with my wife have been unproductive?
I have always paid off the debt collectors and fraudulent orders to avoid involving the authorities. I am at a loss.
Dear questioner,
I will answer the questions you have raised, taking into account the circumstances described and your efforts as follows:
Question 1: Divorce - how does it work?
Marriage can only be dissolved by a court judgment. In this case, one party, the applicant, must hire a lawyer and have the divorce petition filed with the family court through this lawyer.
The prerequisite for divorce is that the marriage is irretrievably broken, meaning it will no longer exist. The spouses must have been living separately for at least 1 year. The respondent must agree to the divorce.
If the spouses have already been living separately for 3 years, the respondent does not have to agree.
Along with the divorce, related matters such as division of property, alimony, child support, etc. can and should be clarified.
It is best to hire a lawyer to handle these matters for you.
Once the applications have been submitted to the court, the matter will be reviewed and a date for the divorce will be set. The marriage will then be dissolved by the court.
Question 2: What should I do now to file for divorce?
If continuing the marriage no longer makes sense, you should file for divorce.
There is also the option of simply separating and remaining married.
Whether this is a good decision, especially emotionally, should be assessed by you.
Question 3: What should I do regarding the children, especially the 4-year-old? How can I best handle it if conversations with my wife are fruitless?
It is not specified that the children automatically stay with the mother after the divorce. It depends, among other things, on whether and to what extent you have custody of the children.
If the children were born in wedlock, both parents have joint custody, unless otherwise stipulated.
As part of the divorce proceedings, it must be requested that sole custody be transferred to you.
With the 4-year-old child, this should not be a problem if it can be proven that the mother is not able to adequately care for the child. Legal issues should not be overlooked here.
It is more difficult to obtain sole custody for a newborn. In general, there must be serious reasons why the mother cannot care for the child.
You should have this examined in more detail by a lawyer and file for divorce and all related matters with the court.
Ideally, an amicable agreement with the wife would be best. If this is not possible, a lawyer should be hired and legal action taken.
Finally, I would like to point out that this platform cannot replace a thorough and personal legal consultation. The sole aim is to provide an initial rough assessment of your legal issue based on the information you have provided to a lawyer. The legal information I provide is based solely on the facts you have provided. By adding or omitting relevant information in your description of the facts, a completely different legal assessment may result.
I hope I have been able to give you an initial overview and that my explanations help you. You are welcome to contact me through the follow-up option on this portal.
Furthermore, I am of course available for representation. The initial consultation fee paid would be fully credited to you.
A greater distance between lawyer and client is generally not a problem. With the help of modern communication tools such as email, mail, fax, and phone, representation can also be carried out.
Best regards
Steffan Schwerin
Lawyer
Law Firm Steffan Schwerin
Golmsdorfer Straße 11
07749 Jena
Tel: 03641 801257
Fax: 032121128582
Email: steffan.schwerin@hotmail.de
Website: www.rechtsanwaltskanzlei-steffan-schwerin.de
